We know that Amaliah is like a Big Sis and sometimes our DMs have been filled with requests for advice on a range of life issues including relationships, friendships or work troubles.

We have started a new segment where we field dilemmas from the community and answer them as frankly as we can with love, truth and honesty.

Need some advice on a dilemma? Send them all here!

---

Dear Aunt Maya, I am about to get engaged in the upcoming months iA, however my potential partner and I are currently not seeing eye to eye regarding our finances. I personally am very invested in ensuring that all of my investments are halal and will bring Barakah into my life. My potential partner on the other hand is not as religiously orientated and doesn’t care about halal investing and prefers to stick to whatever is most profitable. How do you think we can overcome this issue? If at all?

Maya Areem Responds:

Salam alaykum, 

Thank you so much for writing to us and for trusting us to guide you through this. I understand the complexity of the situation you’re facing with your potential partner, and I pray Allah rewards you for your intention and for taking the steps to resolve this in its initial stages.

Shared values are really important when looking at a potential partner, especially for Muslims, as these values are often shaped by Islam. It appears that aligning with Islamic principles is crucial to you, particularly in your approach to finances.

Before delving into the issue at hand, I would like to recommend asking yourself these questions: 

• If he does not change his position, is this a deal breaker for you? 
• Do you see this as an area of compromise? 
• Does what you frame as ‘not as religiously oriented’ show up in other areas of his lifestyle and practice? 

The answers to the above are going to be personal to you as what someone else is willing to compromise on may be too much of a sacrifice to you. Having this clarity with yourself will determine how you move forward. 

It’s also essential to have a heartfelt conversation with your potential partner about your respective financial perspectives, based on the reflections you have from the above. Express your strong commitment to halal investing and how it aligns with your values. Explain the spiritual and ethical significance it holds for you and how you believe it can bring barakah to your life. 

Listen attentively to his perspective as well. His focus on profitability may be influenced by different priorities and beliefs. Understanding his viewpoint is a vital part of the discussion.

Try to find common ground and seek compromise where possible. Consider whether there are ways to structure your finances that respect your commitment to halal investments while also addressing your partner’s desire for profitability. It may be possible to strike a balance by selecting investments that align with both your ethical and financial goals. However, there needs to be a willingness from him and a clear understanding of your priorities.

Seeking guidance from a knowledgeable religious leader on financial matters can also be valuable or even close family friends and peers whose judgment you trust. They can provide insights and advice from an Islamic perspective and offer solutions that align with your faith.

It’s always good to bear in mind that a successful relationship is nurtured by shared values, understanding, compromise, and mutual respect. While financial differences can be challenging, they don’t have to be insurmountable. It is important to reflect on your non-negotiables and consider premarital counselling to facilitate these conversations and navigate potential challenges effectively.

In all of this, remember that marriage encompasses more than just finances. The love, respect, and compatibility you share with your partner are equally important. Continue to communicate openly and work together to find a solution that respects both your faith and your partner’s financial priorities. 

I pray you find an outcome that brings barakah into your lives whether together or apart! 

Love + duas, 

Aunt Maya

---

If you would like some wisdom from Aunt Maya, send in your problems here! Please note Aunt Maya may consult the opinion of others from time to time and ask the Amaliah community for their advice too. Aunt Maya is not a licensed therapist or mental health professional.