I remember it vividly when that phone call came. It was a late afternoon in early December, cold, dark, and rainy, but the voice on the other end of the line was buzzing with excitement and anticipation, “Salam sis, Ramadan is tomorrow inshaAllah!  Ramadan Mubarak!!!”

Unbidden, the words escaped my lips before I had time to process them, “Oh no!  Already?” Her audible gasp made me pause; it was as if I had thrown a bucket of water in my friend’s face, receiving her excitement with such obvious apprehension.  I quickly tried to laugh it off, but my insides were tangled with anxiety.

And so began my first ever Ramadan.  Looking back, I was truly uncertain of how I would cope. At the time I was a student in London and had only officially embraced Islam a couple of weeks prior.  That year, Ramadan started just before Christmas, the shortest days it could ever fall on. And yet it was one of the hardest things I had ever attempted to do. 

The truth is, those first few years after taking shahadah can be overwhelming, and for many, no time is more overwhelming than Ramadan. While those from Muslim families may be sharing their excitement for the coming month, for a new convert, it can be a time of anxiety and dread as we face yet another unknown.

Many new converts are already dealing with a gamut of social and religious pressures: lifestyle changes, new cultural expectations, unfamiliar vocabulary, family displeasure, and many others. It’s a steep learning curve!

In the face of all of this upheaval, is it any wonder that, with my first Ramadan starting a day earlier than expected, my knee-jerk response was, “Oh no!?”  

It’s important to remember in the light of this why we fast. Ask your average Muslim this question and you’re likely to hear sentiments about having empathy for the poor, learning gratitude for our blessings, practicing self-control and others.  All of which are some of the beautiful benefits of fasting, but none are the reason why we fast.

Allah ﷻ says,

يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ كُتِبَ عَلَيْكُمُ ٱلصِّيَامُ كَمَا كُتِبَ عَلَى ٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ

You who believe, fasting is prescribed for you, as it was prescribed for those before you, so that you may be mindful of God. (Surah Al-Baqarah 2:183)

شَهْرُ رَمَضَانَ ٱلَّذِىٓ أُنزِلَ فِيهِ ٱلْقُرْءَانُ هُدًۭى لِّلنَّاسِ وَبَيِّنَـٰتٍۢ مِّنَ ٱلْهُدَىٰ وَٱلْفُرْقَانِ ۚ فَمَن شَهِدَ مِنكُمُ ٱلشَّهْرَ فَلْيَصُمْهُ ۖ وَمَن

“It was in the month of Ramadan that the Quran was revealed as guidance for mankind, clear messages giving guidance and distinguishing between right and wrong. So any one of you who is present that month should fast…” (Surah Al-Baqarah 2:185)

In the above verses, we learn that the true reason for fasting is simply because it’s an order from Allah so we can attain taqwa (God-consciousness). The reason Allah chose Ramadan specifically for fasting is because it’s the month of the Qur’an being revealed.

It’s quite helpful, as new Muslims and old, to be aware of these verses, and to keep returning to them. When things become challenging, these verses can help us renew our intentions and keep them sincerely and purely for Allah.

How should a new Muslim approach Ramadan while still learning the basics of the Deen? 

Perhaps the first step is to realise that Allah Almighty does not expect perfection! He says in the Qur’an:

فَٱتَّقُوا۟ ٱللَّهَ مَا ٱسْتَطَعْتُمْ

“So be mindful of Allah to the best of your ability.” (Surah Al-Taghabun 64:16)

New Muslims often feel a great deal of pressure to ‘perform’ Islam perfectly, both from others and from ourselves.  It’s important to remember, however, that there’s no such thing as a ‘perfect’ Muslim! We all have our own capacity for worship, and as long as we are trying our best, that is all Allah asks of us.  

Ramadan is the fourth pillar of Islam, and yes it is an obligation, but how we fulfil that obligation may vary from one person to another. It’s important to set our own goals for the month and to avoid comparison with others. If you’ve never fasted before, the thought of going all day with no food or drink can seem daunting, so a goal of taking each day as it comes may be in order.

For someone who is still working on establishing their daily prayers, being expected to pray taraweeh every night may not be feasible, so having a goal of increasing the regularity of our obligatory prayers will be more achievable.

If you’re looking for guidance on Ramadan and salah as a new Muslim, here are a few resources that can help you navigate this journey.

• Ramadan and Fasting
• How Does Ramadan Work?
• A Beginner’s Guide to Ramadan
• Learning How to Pray for Beginners

If you want to pray taraweeh but there’s no mosque near you, you can pray by yourself, as little or as much as you can, even if it means reading the same short surah in every unit of prayer! If you’re still learning to sound out the Arabic alphabet, reading a Juz’ of the Qur’an each day simply won’t be realistic, so why not aim for a couple of lines of text after every prayer instead? 

As the Prophet ﷺ said, “The most beloved of deeds to Allah are those that are most consistent, even if small.” (Bukhari)

What about those new Muslims who are still practicing in secret?  

This year I was invited to address a webinar of new Muslims from around the world, and the number of brothers and sisters asking about how to fast without their family suspecting anything was shockingly high. 

If you are a new convert and your family doesn’t know yet, your situation has a specific context that others may not. There are sadly some cases where a new Muslim’s safety may be at risk if found out, especially those who are young and not financially independent. Openly fasting for these individuals may be a challenge, so it is good to remember that Allah is All-Knowing; He knows your situation, He is aware of your difficulties, and He alone is the One who will help you find a solution. It’s best to reach out to your local imam or scholar—either by phone or by setting up a meeting—to explain your situation, as everyone’s circumstances are unique.

Again, avoid comparing your situation to others’. Do not feel despair if you cannot complete a fast for whatever reason. Do what you can and seek His Help in the rest.  For some people, that may mean having suhoor quietly in your room. For others, it may mean pretending to be trying out intermittent fasting. And for a few, it may indeed mean sometimes not being able to fast. 

Whatever your situation, make your intention each day to do what you can, keep track of any days that you cannot fast (inshaAllah you can make them up later), and keep asking Allah Almighty to open a way for you to be able to freely practice one day.

It is important to remember that actions like extra night prayers, reciting Qur’an and staying overnight in the mosque on the last 10 nights—while highly rewarding—are not obligatory. Focus on doing what you can of your obligatory acts of worship for now, and work towards establishing yourself in a way that allows you to participate in these extra acts of worship later inshaAllah.

For those born Muslims who want to help, my last words of advice are for you. 

Over the years I have seen many well-intentioned people say or do things meant as encouragement, but which just added unnecessary pressure. I know the intentions are pure, so here are a few ideas on how you can truly support those new to Islam and Ramadan.

Check That We Know Things

There’s an assumption that once a person takes shahadah, that is where the dawah ends, but it’s just the beginning.  Making sure that we know what we’re doing in Ramadan is as important as teaching us to pray, so checking if a new convert has any questions before Ramadan begins is very important. And if you’re not certain yourself, invite a new Muslim to join you in learning, it’s a great opportunity to increase your own knowledge.

Educate, Don’t Dictate

While it’s important to ensure new converts understand how Ramadan fasting works, how you impart the information is also important.  Checking in with them privately, saying, “I just wanted to make sure you’ve been taught what we need to be doing this month. I know a lot of new people have questions, so feel free to ask me and I’ll try to help,” opens a safe, judgement-free space for a person who may be shy to expose their lack of knowledge. Keep information to the basics so as not to overwhelm, and let them lead in asking about what they want to learn.

Ask About Our Plans

Too many of us spend our first few Ramadans alone. We wake up for suhoor alone, we break our fast alone, and we often pray alone. If you know a new Muslim and you have gatherings for iftar, invite them along, as one more won’t make a difference to you, but it will make a huge difference to them!

Invite Us For Eid

After a month of fasting, Eid is meant to be a celebration for the whole community, but for new Muslims, it’s sometimes a day of tears and loneliness. Attending the Eid prayer is often the only thing we do, and I’ve known too many brothers and sisters who just end up spending the day at work or at home alone because they didn’t have anywhere else to go. Some mosques or other organisations will plan Eid activities for new Muslims, but these aren’t always well-known.  If you have a big family or group of friends that gathers for Eid, consider reaching out to invite one or two new Muslims to join in!  Some of the best Eids I’ve personally experienced were spent this way, just joining in with friends and families as they relaxed after the long month.  

I would also say, remember us at other times too. ‘A convert is for life, not just for Ramadan.’ Many new Muslims are shy to ask for the support they need, and as a community, we must ensure they are nurtured and empowered to become active members of the Ummah.

You don’t need to be a person of great learning or have done weeks of training to fill this role; you just need to be an empathetic friend.  Ensuring that our brothers and sisters who have recently embraced Islam have sincere, non-judgemental people to mentor them is something we all need to strive to provide, and that can start with you.