We know that Amaliah is like a Big Sis and sometimes our DMs have been filled with requests for advice on a range of life issues including relationships, friendships or work troubles.

We have started a new segment where we field dilemmas from the community and answer them as frankly as we can with love, truth and honesty.

Need some advice on a dilemma? Send them all here!

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Assalamu alaikum,

I recently got married and my husband has brought up some concerns about his faith. I have discovered that my husband has more liberal opinions than I thought which concerns me because my views are much more traditional. I am worried that his perception of Islam will develop into something that is too open and not focused enough on core practices and boundaries. I don’t want to get to the point where I have to leave him because he is no longer Muslim. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Maya Areem responds

Salam Alaykum sis, 

Navigating differences in religious beliefs within a marriage can be intricate, and it’s admirable that you’re seeking guidance to address this situation. I pray Allah rewards you both for your intentions and makes your marriage stronger as you explore your faith together. 

As you move forward, initiating open conversations with your husband is crucial. Create a safe space where both of you can share your thoughts in a respectful manner. While this can be tricky when emotions are high and opinions differ greatly, draw up some ground rules on how you can consistently share your thoughts and learnings with each other calmly. This can include keeping a level tone, allowing each other to complete sentences, being open to each other’s opinions by listening and learning more about where they originate from.

In these conversations, it might also be beneficial to dive into the reasons behind your husband’s evolving beliefs. Understanding when and why his perspectives started to shift can provide valuable insights into his journey. This understanding can help you empathize with his experiences and possibly involve a counselor if need be.

It is concerning that it may come to a point where he is no longer Muslim and I wonder why it feels that way to you. It may be helpful to be clear about your non-negotiables and explain your understanding on which beliefs and actions remove a person from the fold of Islam. It is also crucial to involve a trusted scholar who may be able to guide your conversations and concerns. 

Attend lectures, workshops, or discussions led by knowledgeable scholars together to aid in broadening your perspectives.

May Allah guide you both and grant you the wisdom and patience to navigate this journey together.

Love + duas, 

Aunt Maya

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If you would like some wisdom from Aunt Maya, send in your problems here! Please note Aunt Maya may consult the opinion of others from time to time and ask the Amaliah community for their advice too. Aunt Maya is not a licensed therapist or mental health professional.