“You can’t go climbing trees with your brothers. It’s very unladylike”

“You should learn not to argue with men if you want to maintain a good, lasting home.”

“No man is going to marry you if you can’t cook good meals and do the laundry.”

These voices continue to replay in my head just as I begin to type in the words. It reminds me of a time in my life when I resented the fact that I was growing up. Transitioning from ‘girl’ to ‘woman’ was a period I never looked forward to, silently wishing I would just never grow up or thinking about disappearing altogether. It was a time when I was constantly reminded of the reality of womanhood. How can I forget being scrutinized by all the big aunts who busied themselves in making sure they were perfectly moulding me into what they assumed was the Ideal woman. I harboured lots of thoughts and asked questions which I was repeatedly told never to ask. Was this all there was to womanhood? Was I created just to satisfy the ever-growing needs of men? What about my intellect, my talents, my goals as a woman? How did they fit into God’s plan? “How could these thoughts not be running through the minds of every other girl?” and “how come these obvious unfair treatments could be acceptable to all the mums and aunts?”

I was told that my resentments would get me nowhere and the best thing for me was to accept the sacrifices that came with being a woman. In the end, I didn’t want to be a woman anymore. I didn’t want to make any sacrifices just because I was a woman. All I wanted was an intentional life. And that was not too much to ask.

It wasn’t until I began learning about Islam that I found out that women do not only actually have an elevated status with Allah but also a legacy to be proud of. Reading about the lives of our predecessors was liberating. I can’t begin to narrate how that knowledge changed not only my perspective but my life too. I was awed and inspired with a new-found energy. This left a deep-seated impression on me, one that has followed me to this day. Now more than ever, when I ponder on the kinds of people I would like to emulate and take as role models, my mind naturally inclines towards women in the seerah; women who left indelible footprints of great Iman, morals and courage. The most striking of all is when I reflect upon the lives of the women who did extraordinary things which in modern times would be considered “unladylike”, seeking the same qualities that made them so elevated by Allah. One of these women is Khawlah bint Al – Azwar.

Khawlah bint Al – Azwar

From the early years of Islam, Khawlah bint Al-Azwar was a very extraordinary woman. She was the daughter of one of the chiefs of the Bani Assad tribe, Al Azwar bin Aws who embraced Islam in its first days. She also married the fourth caliph of Islam, Ali bin Abi Talib during his succession. Her brother Dirar, was her greatest companion and an excellent swordsman and poet who trained her in all arts of swordsmanship until she became a knight. Besides that, Khawlah was a professional nurse, an Intelligent and outstanding poet as well as a brunette of exquisite, inestimable beauty.

During the battle of Ajnadin, her brother Dirar, lost his spear, fell from his horse and was surrounded and captured by the Roman enemies. Shortly after this happened, a Muslim rider suddenly dashed past the Muslim army and headed straight into the Roman frontlines. This warrior wore a green turban and had a scarf wrapped around his face, revealing only his eyes. He also wore a black cloth over his armour and was armed with a spear and lance. Because of his dressing, the Muslim army called him The Black Knight. The warrior penetrated the defences of the enemies, killing all those who stood in his way. Al-Imam Al Waqidi, a well-known ninth century historian described the incident

“In a battle that took place in Beit Lahia near Ajnadin, Khalid (bin Waleed) watched a knight, in black attire, with a big green shawl wrapped around his waist and covering his bust. That knight broke through the Roman ranks as an arrow. Khalid and the others followed him and joined the battle while the leader was wondering about the Identity of the unknown knight.”

Initially, most thought that the skilled swordsman was none other than Khalid bin Waleed. But when the great general showed up elsewhere, they became confused. They were all fascinated by the way the Knight would appear with a number of Roman knights chasing after him. Then he would turn around and kill the nearest before resuming the attacks. Eventually, the Romans lost the battle and fled, leaving many dead and wounded in the battlefield. Khalid bin Waleed looked for the knight and found him covered in blood. He asked him to remove his veil. But the knight was reluctant, trying to break away. The other soldiers stopped him and when he realized that there was no way to avoid that, he replied in a feminine voice: “My prince, you are a great leader, and I am a woman whose heart is burning”

“Who are you?” Khalid insisted

“I am Khawlah bint Al Azwar. I was with the women accompanying the army. And when I learnt that the enemy captured my brother, I did what I did”.

Khalid bin Walid thereafter sent a number of Muslim warriors led by Khawlah bint Al – Azwar  after the fleeing Roman army to set free the prisoners. To the tremendous joy of everyone, the army was defeated and Dirar was rescued and reunited with his sister.

Khawlah could never have done what she did if she wasn’t a skilled swordsman and horse rider. She could never have accomplished what she did if she believed it was unladylike for her to do so. She could never have achieved such a great feat if she had been held back by the views of the world. How many times have women been deprived of playing pivotal roles in their communities as a result of incorrect beliefs that have grown into ‘Islamic’ norms being passed down from generation to generation? How many times have women been prevented from taking extra steps to benefit the world simply because it is notoriously believed that it is a man’s birthright to do so? How many times have women been told that it is impossible for them to be good wives or mothers if they ever sought to be anything else? The answer is obvious and the consequence is an ever-increasing vicious cycle of mediocrity in the Ummah. This has led to a heightened degree of inadequacy not only amongst women but the entire human race, most especially in our spiritual lives. The story of the black knight is an inspiration for Muslim women, telling us to take the bull by the horn and reclaim ourselves. It doesn’t matter what the entire world thinks. With Allah, every woman has a purpose and there is a divine wisdom behind our womanhood.

Women must know that their present and future roles can be just as diverse as those of their male counterparts. The end goal of every human being is to attain the pleasure of Allah both in this world and the hereafter and yes, it can be argued that being someone’s spouse or parent can be a stepping stone to achieving that goal; these are merely means to an end. If a woman is capable of various accomplishments, why should she be held back by the views of the world? This is the time to be more proactive; to unleash the black knight within us; to prove to the world that we can once again, just like our predecessors, be exceptional ‘Aabidahs and ‘Aalimahs; that we can once again light up the fires of outstanding womanhood and keep them burning for eternity.